Reflections on the End of A Year

Do I have to do this?

I have two children, teenagers really. My once chattering little boy has quietly grown into a young man of 16. My girl has one foot in the door and one out....itching to live on her own next year, or at least with a few hundred other college students. As she anxiously scours the mailbox for letters of "Yes", I paint her portrait at 17 secretly saying "No" don't leave. Stay softly asleep so that I may watch over you.

Do I have to do this? Do I have to let go of each year?

This particular year taught me many things. It taught me to give up on the fantasy, hope, or wish that the past can be different. I learned this year that even hope of a bright future is a hook and an illusion. This is not to say that the future won't be bright. I just won't assume anything nor take love for granted.

Quietly breathe, look and listen to the music of now.

"At 17" is one moment, neither good nor bad, black or white, then or next..........because everything is a work in progress.

Detail of "Grace at 17".....a work in progress

Lose Yourself in the moment

"Live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find eternity in each moment..."        Henry David Thoreau

When the paint is wet, brushes on hand, music playing...and not sad music...the image is in my head and the only choice is to paint it. In these small moments all the inner doubts and insecurities just fade away, they have to or the work would not get done. Color, form, execution requires to let it all go. When I am actually painting I am in joy. These moments are brief and if strung together over time they fill me with happiness.

Look into what brings you these "holy" moments. It may be those times you hear your children's laughter or when you listen to someone's story without rushing to interject your own. Think the next time you are working with your hands... shaping wood, knitting, preparing a meal... and live that moment. String as many as you can together and live your days.

detail of an unfinished painting

Projecting On Canvas

“Your perception may not be my reality”

— Aporva Kala

In representational art when people are portrayed, it is impossible for the artist to be objective. If what you are looking at in a painting is derived from the real world and not an abstraction from the artist's mind, then as the viewer, you will project your own imagination and perceptions on to the work.

I am fascinated by the representational work of Jorge Santos whose photorealist style places people in often surreal environments and begs the viewer to ask..."what the hell is going on?" His paintings are often humorous and ominous. Similar to reading a good book or watching a movie, the viewer's psychology will play a key role in either the enjoyment or discomfort of the art.

Rest Stop, oil on canvas, 48" x 72" by Jorge Santos, Represented by Evan Lurie Gallery

... Being Here Now

I have spent many years feeding the philosophy of snapshots on the wall and the nostalgia of capturing childhood moments to remember. I have been painting my children and the children of others ever since I became a mom seventeen plus years ago. 

This morning I awoke with a trembling anxiety. What am I going to do with all those smiling faces? My home is filled with them. My crawl spaces are packed with them. My newest and oldest studio walls crowded with them. My children are no longer children. I have "young adults" now. They are now telling their own stories and expressing themselves through social media, sports, music and play. They are old enough now to "paint" their own lives. 

It won't be long till the desire to downsize my life and live in a smaller space will force me to edit my work and make choices.

 What memories (paintings) are safe to hold? What memories (paintings) are safe to let go?

"If you are depressed, you are living in the past.  If you are anxious, you are living in the future.

If you are at peace, you are living in the present."     Lao Tzu

 How can I stop painting the Past?      How can I paint the Now?

I Like This Painter's Balls

Years ago I subscribed to New American Paintings to look at what mid-career artists were painting and why. I immediately loved the work of one of the artists, John Gibson

He paints balls. I wasn't sure why I was so drawn to them. They are brilliant in color, simple in shape....after all, they are just balls...but I loved looking at them. Perhaps its the eternal fascination with the roundness of the Earth, the planets, watching my son's soccer games, my daughter's first word...."ball." The ball is a perfect shape.

In describing why he has painted balls for over 2 decades, John Gibson provides no answer. I came to realize that sometimes Art requires no "answer." Sometimes to just look and enjoy is enough.

© 2014 John Gibson Art. All rights reserved.